


Alive

by rosalynbair



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Legends: Last of The Jedi Series - Jude Watson
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, First Kiss, Old Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 01:24:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13671345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosalynbair/pseuds/rosalynbair
Summary: Kylo's plan to burn down a resistance village doesn't go as plan when he runs into you, his childhood friend, his first love





	Alive

Pain and fear echoed throughout his ears, screams ringing throughout his mind as he scouted the scene below him. From the view of his ship, he could see the villagers running through the streets as the Stormtroopers followed his commands to wipe out the population of the village. The blue beams from each blaster shone through the darkness his ship had cast over the small village.   
Kylo watched, his regularly hazel eyes nearly black as he felt every emotion that every single being felt as they were executed. He had done this enough times now in his time as the Supreme Leader of the First Order, he blocked the emotions out. He had no time for such silly things. Emotions wouldn’t get anyone further along in a war like this.   
“Supreme Leader.” General Hux said quietly from beside him, the thud from his boots dull against the metal floor. Kylo turns his head, hair flowing around his face, the waves bouncing around his ears and tickling the nape of his neck. Hux sees the paint on the mans face, the scar between the two faded gold lines standing out even more against the pale skin of his mutilated ruler. The gold-leaf flaked in certain areas, passing over wrinkles from weariness. The gold was once the same colour as the lining of Kylo’s clothing, but it had been on his face for days and had yet to be retouched. It didn’t need to be, it was something done simply for theatrics. To please the senators he had met with days ago, before he found out about a small village with mining abundancy under the protection of the Resistance.   
Even days later, Kylo found himself in the same clothes that he used only to show his power and title. The cape that rested on his shoulders was clasped with two gold buttons, the hem that hit his heels was the matching shade. Everything had been meticulously matched so nothing was out of place. His tailors didn’t want him to look like a fool with different shades of black and mismatched gold tones for the Supreme Leader. Each button matched each clasp on his boot, the trim of his sleeves matched each gold thread which all led back to the gold crown that rested around his head.   
He had questioned everything at first. He didn’t need an outfit to show his power. To show everyone that he could kill them without a glance.   
“What do you want General?” Kylo rumbles out, eyebrow quirked.   
“There are a few villagers fighting back, they seem to be direct members of the resistance that are trying to protect the village.” He announces, head held high. Almost as if he was looking down towards a misbehaving child.   
Kylo nods, his scarred hand nudging past his cape to rest on the gold and silver lightsabre that rested against his hip. “Tell my knights that we will be departing the ship to the village.”  
“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Hux says, bowing slightly before turning quickly on his heel to head to the Knights quarters of the ship.   
Kylo looks out the window once more, something tugging at his stomach for the briefest of moments. Something similar to the anxiety he used to feel heading home between training with his uncle to visit his old friend.   
His expression hardens, fingers tightening around his lightsabre, pulling it from the holster as he walks towards the hatch to depart the ship.   
His Knights followed behind him silently. Organized like a flock of black birds in their walking patterns. Kylo led them, instilling more fear into the people who witnessed him stalking through the village. Even the Stormtroopers backed away slightly during their tirade. The sight of their Leader always made them jumpy.   
“Find everyone the Stormtroopers missed.” Kylo orders his knights. “I want no one to leave here alive.”  
The Knights of Ren branched off, Kylo walking straight down the main street.   
Bodies littered the ground, children and elders who couldn’t run fast enough to escape the blasters. He didn’t pay attention to the tear stained faces or the expressions of horror. They would be alive if they hadn’t sided with the resistance. It was their own foolishness that got them killed.   
Kylo turns right, passing through the village centre, the ground muddied and wet from the damage to the grand fountain that must have once belonged to festivals and gatherings. He keeps focused though, eyes trailing along each dark street, every window of each building. He was searching for survivors through the force, no one here deserved to survive.   
He expanded his search, eyes closing as his stalk like walk came to a halt. He chuckles when he sees the fear of a child under a bed in a nearby house.   
He lifts his hand, creating an almost claw-like motion. He could feel the sudden terror throughout the boy. His fingers close slowly, the light slowly dimming. It blew out like a candle the moment he twisted his wrist.   
Kylo’s eyes open, feeling a familiar person through the power of his force search. His lips fell to a frown. The force was playing tricks on him, there was no other explanation to feeling that life force once more. There was no reason for that life to be on this planet.   
He could feel his heart begin to sink as the being stalked closer to him. He could feel their movements throughout the force, hear how loud their mind was screaming at him. He could hear the anger within your mind, the hurt and the absolute pain that you were sending to his mind as you came into view.   
You were exactly as he remembered you, yet oh so different. So much older, so full of pain and sadness.   
Just like him.  
But he was the cause of your change. He was the reason you couldn’t sleep. The reason for the constant bags beneath your eyes. The reason there were frown lines on your face.   
“Kylo Ren.” You state, voice wavering ever so slightly in the air between the two of you.   
“I have no time to rekindle a friendship.” Kylo says, his voice hoarser than he’d like it to be. He was hoping he could pull it off as weariness from battle orders. “I will not deal with you in the middle of this war.”  
Your eyes squint, the lids of your eyes dropping down, turning your eyes into little slits of hatred. Hatred for him. You hated him. Which would make this slightly easier in his mind. Your hair whipped around your face, the wind howling throughout the broken windows of the houses and shops that surround you.   
“I don’t want your friendship.” You tell him, eyes opening again.   
He could see your hand holding a blaster you had grabbed from a fallen Stormtrooper.   
“Your knife did you no well, then?” He asks, not seeing any sign of your signature knife at your hip.   
“It’s lodged in a ribcage.” You respond, stepping closer to the tall, menacing man you once called your friend. “You will deal with me now. One of us will not survive this war.”  
“Unfortunately for you, it will be you not making it through.” He tells you with ease, thinking through a plan of attack on how to properly get rid of you.   
“So, you believe. Supreme Leader.” You mock, taking him in fully. His cape was moving frantically in the wind against his body, the gold glinting ever so slightly in the dimness of the shadows. “I knew you were dramatic, but really? Face paint? Is that what you’ve truly come to, to show your status? It looks ridiculous.”  
Kylo’s shoulders slump slightly. Against his better judgement, he found himself relaxing in the waves of your voice.   
“Yes, well being a ruler is theatrics to get people to like you.” He tells you, Eyes rolling upwards behind his dark lids.   
“You never needed that for people to like you before.” You respond.  
“Times change.” He says, not particularly to you. Maybe more to himself than anything.   
“So it does.” You say quietly, looking around you. There was no one. Everyone had moved onto different parts of the village and to the outer perimeters to ensure no survivors. “How are we going to do this?”  
“Do what, y/n?” He asks you, his grip on his lightsabre tightening.   
“This, you know?” You say quietly. “Are we going to fight? Like, actually fight? Are we going to let each other walk past and ignore this ever happened –?”  
“You know I can’t do that.” Kylo tells you quietly, chin dropping to his chest, eyes closing for the smallest of moments. The Lightsabre came alive in his hand, the loud echoing buzz of the energy bouncing off the buildings and joining a symphony of the howling wind, Kylo’s anxiously heavy breathing, and the screaming of innocent beings in the distance.   
You watch him, taking a step back as he stepped forward, dark eyes locking with yours. He was a scary man, but even still, you could see his insecurities. How scared and unsure he was.   
“You don’t have to do anything Kylo. You’re the Supreme Leader. You rule over everything. You have the choice.” You tell him, voice falling to a whisper as you begin to circle each other.  
“You know nothing.” He tells you, his hair falling in front of his eyes.  
That moment. That moment made you stop. You stood there, watching as he came closer to you, stopping a few feet away from you. He looked like Ben. Something, something was making your heart pull. Your stomach fluttering as your eyes move over his features. If you ignored the scar and paint, he looked just like your best friend. But you weren’t naïve enough to ever think that you could bring him back to the light. His days in the sun were long gone.   
“You’re going to kill me.” You state simply, eyes catching his in a soft gaze.   
“I am.” He nods, not breaking the bond.   
“Would it be easier for you if I did it myself?” You ask, reaching up to push your own hair from your face. “You have a lot of blood on your hands, it might hurt you to have mine.”  
“Having yours will fuel me.” He tells you, stepping closer to you, his warmth seeping to you. “There will be nothing pulling me back to the light once you’re dead.”  
“I’m your only grounding for your humanity.” You realize, and you see him look away.   
The Stormtrooper’s blaster drops from your hand, taking up it’s hold on Kylo’s cheek. You bring his head back, his face once more on full view for you.   
His eyes open, catching yours once more. His seemingly black eyes were the gentlest of hazel, yellow flecked throughout the iris’. They were the same eyes of your best friend. You feel yourself emptying the space between you. Chests pressed together. Your bodies swayed slightly against the strength of the wind. You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his.   
Both of your hair whipped around your faces, shielding you from what was outside of your small moment. Your eyes were closed, breath hitting Kylo’s pale, sweaty skin. His eyes stayed open, watching you with the softest of gazes.   
He feels your lips press against his for the first time. The tang of blood in your mouth from a cauterizing wound transferring to his. He’s sure his heart stopped before beginning to beat in reverse with the feelings he had suddenly been overcome with. He hadn’t felt these particular emotions since he was a foolish teenager coming to visit you.   
But even then, these were tenfold. He had never in his wildest dreams think that you would kiss him. That it would be in the middle of a galactic war that he was leading.   
“Long live the Resistance.” You whisper against his lips.   
Kylo had no time to retreat, to recognize or process what you were doing.   
Your other hand had rested on his chest, and he now found your missing knife that you had said was in a ribcage. His ribcage. Kylo’s eyes widen, staring down at you as he begins to process the pain that seared out from the wound you had inflicted onto him.   
He feels each inch of the blade slide out of his bones, leaving him with a bloody cough. The metallic substance dribbling down his chin as he slowly drops to his knees before you. The knife had dragged up his skin, cutting away the fabric that had covered his chest. A long line of open flesh with pooling blood gathered in between the torn fabric.   
“Poisoned?” Kylo asked through his burning coughs.   
“Yes.” You nod, rubbing the hidden switch blade against your pants to clear it of the blood. You didn’t want it to rust.   
You bend down, grabbing the lightsabre from his weakening grip. “I’m sorry Ben.” You say as you stand.  
He nods, coughing again, watching with a hazy gaze as you turn on your heel.   
The sounds of his wheezing fade into the distance as you hide the lightsabre in your jacket, retracting the knife back into it’s holder. You hold back the loud sob that you were sure would give away your location as you get closer to where your small ship was. Where the few survivors were. Where the resistance lived on.

**Author's Note:**

> Find more of my work on Tumblr @ Rosalynbair


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